Monday, May 10, 2010

The Dance of Motherhood

It is so hard to believe that Mother's Day has come and gone. As usual, the best part of the day consists of hugs and kisses given earnestly. As another special day comes and goes, I always reflect on my children's birthday, the most important moments in my life. Surprisingly, I never expected to be a mom.
The goals I had set for my future mostly consisted of career ambitions and traveling the world. I didn't have much experience with children, as I was always working at a wedding with my dad instead of babysitting. I remember finding out I was pregnant after only five short months of marriage. It's fitting that Josh was a surprise because everyday with him is a new journey with unexpected twists and turns. On the way to the hospital , I was overwhelmed by thoughts of wondering what on earth I was going to do with him. I am a planner. I admit that type "A" or OCD are definitely parts of my personality. It's hard to give over control of something that I had always held the reigns on. Selfishly, I wasn't ready to share him with the world. He had been a part of me for 39 weeks and I had kept him safe for so long. So....14 hours of labor and a C-section later he arrived. Honestly, I still look at him and cannot imagine what Seth and I ever did to deserve him. His laughter is contagious and he will either be an engineer or scientist one day. When my sweet baby girl arrived three years later, the world stopped again and hasn't turned the same since. She was dark and beautiful and the nurses were always hesitant to give her to me. It's funny that I still have to explain to strangers that she is really mine.

A friend once told me that the mother of the founder of the Salvation Army would pray every night that her son would find his way in the world and that God would guide him to be the best he could be. Parenting is realizing that children are a gift from God, and must be raised loving God. It is our responsibility to teach, praise, care, and discipline all the while raising them into active members of society. I pray different prayers for my children. I pray that God will always give Josh strength and wisdom to do great things. He was born a leader and his potential is endless. He dances on daydreams and determination. My little Annie, on the other hand, sees the world in a sea of color and song. I pray that she always keeps her self confidence and knows she was born for greatness. She was born with the heart of a servant and a gift of beauty. I can see her feeding hungry children in a third world country, with flawless skin and beautiful hair. (In a coordinating outfit from J. Crew!) I pray for happiness and self-assurance in all their endeavors.

When I ponder what I was sent here to do,
the answer always seems to be the same.
I was born to be Josh and Anna Reid's mom.
It is the most important job I will ever have
and will always be the most rewarding.
It isn't quit how I expected my life to be,
it is so much more.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

No sleep, just the beginning


It is official. In fifteen days, my baby sister will be a wife. It is so hard to believe that almost a year's worth of planning is down to such a small amount of time. What is the hardest to believe is how my prayer came true, whether I really meant it or not! When I was little, the darkness frightened me more that anything. Every night the begging would begin and the plea was always the same.....please give me a brother or sister so I won't be scared of the dark! In 1984, amidst basking in the glory of only child syndrome, she arrived, ready or not. (At least a new "Crystal" barbie sealed the deal!) Not only did she arrive, I named her. Morgan Fairchild was so beautiful and what eight year old child didn't follow the Falcon Crest drama?

Many dresses and coordinating shoes later, she decided to put on her big girl panties and leave the red clay hills behind. We had a bet going on how long it would be before Daddy would have to bring the "baby" of the family home and allow us to lick her wounds. Not only did Morgi stay, but after a few trials and tribulations, she found love in a Jersey boy. Did I remind be careful of your prayers. It's all my fault. Well, technically Trent Daddy has always referred to those above the Mason-Dixon as Yankees and God is punishing him, but I'll take the majority of the blame for now. "If only she could find someone to take care of her, and not be alone so far away from home." Yes, I prayed it and God just happened to send Mr. Wonderful, aka Andrew in on a white horse complete with good taste and an excellent eye for bling.

As the day closes in, and the type "A" personality goes into overdrive, the wedding day festivities will be bittersweet and beautiful. If you attend the wedding, please do not look at me walking down the aisle. My mind won't be there as I travel by the church pews. It will be traveling down memory lane holding that brown-eyed spitfire baby that I prayed for.

Love in Christ, Keep focusing on Him

Tracye