Monday, May 10, 2010

The Dance of Motherhood

It is so hard to believe that Mother's Day has come and gone. As usual, the best part of the day consists of hugs and kisses given earnestly. As another special day comes and goes, I always reflect on my children's birthday, the most important moments in my life. Surprisingly, I never expected to be a mom.
The goals I had set for my future mostly consisted of career ambitions and traveling the world. I didn't have much experience with children, as I was always working at a wedding with my dad instead of babysitting. I remember finding out I was pregnant after only five short months of marriage. It's fitting that Josh was a surprise because everyday with him is a new journey with unexpected twists and turns. On the way to the hospital , I was overwhelmed by thoughts of wondering what on earth I was going to do with him. I am a planner. I admit that type "A" or OCD are definitely parts of my personality. It's hard to give over control of something that I had always held the reigns on. Selfishly, I wasn't ready to share him with the world. He had been a part of me for 39 weeks and I had kept him safe for so long. So....14 hours of labor and a C-section later he arrived. Honestly, I still look at him and cannot imagine what Seth and I ever did to deserve him. His laughter is contagious and he will either be an engineer or scientist one day. When my sweet baby girl arrived three years later, the world stopped again and hasn't turned the same since. She was dark and beautiful and the nurses were always hesitant to give her to me. It's funny that I still have to explain to strangers that she is really mine.

A friend once told me that the mother of the founder of the Salvation Army would pray every night that her son would find his way in the world and that God would guide him to be the best he could be. Parenting is realizing that children are a gift from God, and must be raised loving God. It is our responsibility to teach, praise, care, and discipline all the while raising them into active members of society. I pray different prayers for my children. I pray that God will always give Josh strength and wisdom to do great things. He was born a leader and his potential is endless. He dances on daydreams and determination. My little Annie, on the other hand, sees the world in a sea of color and song. I pray that she always keeps her self confidence and knows she was born for greatness. She was born with the heart of a servant and a gift of beauty. I can see her feeding hungry children in a third world country, with flawless skin and beautiful hair. (In a coordinating outfit from J. Crew!) I pray for happiness and self-assurance in all their endeavors.

When I ponder what I was sent here to do,
the answer always seems to be the same.
I was born to be Josh and Anna Reid's mom.
It is the most important job I will ever have
and will always be the most rewarding.
It isn't quit how I expected my life to be,
it is so much more.


  1. Tracye, that was beautiful and brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing it. I lost my mom at an early age and I am so thankful for moms like you because my mom was like you.

  2. Oh, Tracye, there just are no words..... The first blessing God ever gave your children was you as their mother. I was so different from you. My ONLY prayer for my future was to be a mother. That's all I ever wanted. BUT here we are in the end having the same realization of what we were meant to be. And now I'm going to be a grandmother. I wasn't blessed with more children. I always told Preston God took all the wonderful traits of every child I wanted and didn't have and put them all in him! Having Presley is going to be like looking in the face of my newborn again and getting to relive it with much less stress. How fun is THAT going to be. I love you, sweetie. Pam